Wow I really hadn't realized that I have let approximately 6 months go by without writing a peep on my blog. I knew it had been a long time but 6 months??? really??? I need to hit rewind to really look at the last year in my life as it has not been very productive when looking at weight/health happiness. My 36th birthday is coming up and a year ago I weighed about 20 pounds less. There is no one thing to blame my weight gain on as usual, it was more or less me sliding back into old bad habits which equates to eating more and working out less. I am the perfect example of 99% of people where I loose the weight and then put it back on. I have cycled up and down like this for the last 16 years of my life. Even my blog trends a few of my ups and downs. From a mental standpoint I don't understand why I work so freaking hard to turn around and throw it all away. I don't know if I will ever figure that out but as I have said before I really have no option but to press on, that's what life is. I have gotten back to a point where I don't feel good about myself, my clothes are getting tight, I dread taking my shirt off *moobs*, my knees are bugging me, my foot has been sore, heart burn has been bugging me, workouts are painfully hard, I'm tired all the time, I get winded doing things that used to be easy, etc etc. All these things say "Hey Dumb Ass start working out and eating less/healthier".
I haven't really got a plan of attack yet but I thought this blog would be a good place to start. My wife and I have been reading The Primal Blueprint which pretty much outlines a paleo diet with a few different twists. Pretty much a caveman diet and I know many of the people that might read this are doing a similar diet or have at least heard about them. The theory/book/lifestyle makes allot of sense to me as does the diet. However, I am having a hard time excepting a low carb diet because I love dairy, some complex carbs, and beer of course. I do realize that its pretty much impossible to follow any style of diet 100%. I need to find a nice % that I can live with (maybe 80% as Mark suggests). I also know that I need exercise in my routine. I loved p90x but find it almost a little over the top for my current physical fitness level. Part of me thinks that its me just sandbagging and that I should man up and just do the program but in truth it is pretty extreme workout regiment. To truthfully figure that out I think I need to outline some more solid goals. I know my main focus is to loose weight/body fat. That has always been my number one goal. So I know I really need to focus on my diet first and exercise second....
I haven't stepped on the scale more than a handful of time in the last 6 months. I truthfully don't know what I weigh right now. I would guess around 220.
Well this "I have been gone to long" post is getting to long so I will stop writing now. If anyone's still out there throw me a comment, it really does help having your support.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Whole Lot of Nothing....
Thought I would write a quick blurp since a few of you wonder where the heck I am. I started a new round of P90x on March 1. So far I have hit every workout and ate pretty well during the week. I did fall off the food wagon a little over the weekend when we went to really good Moroccan dinner and the following night I had pizza. I even pulled off a double on saturday where I ran a 5k and did KempoX which between the two burnt 1250 cals (same night we went out to dinner so I probably nullified it). I also had some drinks over the weekend which I am sure slow my progress too. So diet/mental issues are kind of keeping me in the same place. I keep trying to find the switch to turn back on the super mental motivation/dedication but am having a really hard time finding it. I hope the workouts are at least helping keep me in maintain mode.
I did get my blood work done and everything looked really good so that's a good sign.
So in short I am still here and still trying. As I have said before I have no other options but to continue on my journey of health and wellness.
Thanks to those of you who stopped by and left me a comment.
I did get my blood work done and everything looked really good so that's a good sign.
So in short I am still here and still trying. As I have said before I have no other options but to continue on my journey of health and wellness.
Thanks to those of you who stopped by and left me a comment.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Trying to Return to Old Form
Well the last few days have been good in both the food and exercise front. Its been kind of weird trying to get back to normal eating. I have been hungry but thats probably due to at least a 1/3 less calories in my daily diet. I was looking at one of those calorie king books and was appalled at the number of calories in dinners from restaurants. I knew they were high but none the less it was a eye opener and showed me why I have been gaining weight. This week I am trying to conform to my low carb on cardio days and little more normal carb intake on weight days to help with muscle repair and building. Today is a low carb day and I can already feel the effects of it (less energy). I have also been trying to make realistic portions for my food and that is daunting too... 4ozs, is that really all I get?!?!?. All I know is I need to correct my path before it gets too far off course, so that's what I am doing. So I have to re loose 14lbs or so before hitting new lows. I am back and this time I am going all the way.
On a disappointing note a 14 pound increase in scale weight equated to 6% body fat increase via my stupid scientific scale. It had the audacity to tell me my BF is 30%..... makes me sick. I also went from 10 to 12 in the visceral fat scale (10 is considered healthy range and 12 is bad). BMI is at the high end for the overweight zone nearing obese at 29.... So via that piece of shit scale I have allot of work to do/re-due. So that is what taking time off has done for me.... (FYI, i know the scales are not 100% accurate given hydration etc but it gives me a good baseline.)
Another thing to note on is my workouts are definitely harder and I have noticed little aliments (sore knees, sore back, etc etc) that I used to have when I was heavier are starting to become more present. hopefully a month or two back in I will see those things going away again.
My short term goal is to hit <200 again by the end of Feb. Maybe a little aggressive but I think its doable if I really batten down the hatches and kick azz. Wish me luck!!
On a disappointing note a 14 pound increase in scale weight equated to 6% body fat increase via my stupid scientific scale. It had the audacity to tell me my BF is 30%..... makes me sick. I also went from 10 to 12 in the visceral fat scale (10 is considered healthy range and 12 is bad). BMI is at the high end for the overweight zone nearing obese at 29.... So via that piece of shit scale I have allot of work to do/re-due. So that is what taking time off has done for me.... (FYI, i know the scales are not 100% accurate given hydration etc but it gives me a good baseline.)
Another thing to note on is my workouts are definitely harder and I have noticed little aliments (sore knees, sore back, etc etc) that I used to have when I was heavier are starting to become more present. hopefully a month or two back in I will see those things going away again.
My short term goal is to hit <200 again by the end of Feb. Maybe a little aggressive but I think its doable if I really batten down the hatches and kick azz. Wish me luck!!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Vacation, Flu, & PDXlan
Well the last week and a half have not been what I imagined they would be. I have managed to skirt around my diet and exercise for another almost 2 weeks after having 1 good one. So this week I need to reset my internal compass and get back after the holy grail of weight loss.
So the 7, 8, 9, and 10th we were down at Mt Bachelor with another family
that we have been friends with for a long time. We did some snow skiing, played games, swam, laughed allot, ate lots of food, and drank some drinks. My son took his first lesson on the slopes in Mt Bachelors Little Rippers program. He did great and had a great experience with their staff. However skiing is really starting to become a rich mans sport. We dropped about $300 bucks between 2 lift tickets, class admission, and some food. Pretty crazy for one day of skiing if you ask me.
Late on the 10th, 11th, 12th and 13th I was pretty sick with the flu. Ran a temp for all 4 days and didn't have much of a appetite nor the energy to workout. (guess you shouldn't workout when your sick). Returned to work on the 14th and 15th.
15th, 16th, 17th and 18th PDXlan event was on and in full effect. Lots of sitting in front of your computer playing games hanging
with friends. I believe its one of the biggest LANs in the northwest and happens twice a year. Over 500 people attend and drag there computers from all over the states and beyond. It was a great event but once again sitting on your butt and not eating great is not really in my plan for loosing weight. Like I said it only happens twice a year and I really enjoying hanging and playing games with some good friends so I will be back at it next July at PDXlan 16.
Tonight I have a cardio workout planned along with some abs and stretching. Hope this finds everyone else doing well.
So the 7, 8, 9, and 10th we were down at Mt Bachelor with another family
that we have been friends with for a long time. We did some snow skiing, played games, swam, laughed allot, ate lots of food, and drank some drinks. My son took his first lesson on the slopes in Mt Bachelors Little Rippers program. He did great and had a great experience with their staff. However skiing is really starting to become a rich mans sport. We dropped about $300 bucks between 2 lift tickets, class admission, and some food. Pretty crazy for one day of skiing if you ask me.Late on the 10th, 11th, 12th and 13th I was pretty sick with the flu. Ran a temp for all 4 days and didn't have much of a appetite nor the energy to workout. (guess you shouldn't workout when your sick). Returned to work on the 14th and 15th.
15th, 16th, 17th and 18th PDXlan event was on and in full effect. Lots of sitting in front of your computer playing games hanging
with friends. I believe its one of the biggest LANs in the northwest and happens twice a year. Over 500 people attend and drag there computers from all over the states and beyond. It was a great event but once again sitting on your butt and not eating great is not really in my plan for loosing weight. Like I said it only happens twice a year and I really enjoying hanging and playing games with some good friends so I will be back at it next July at PDXlan 16.
Tonight I have a cardio workout planned along with some abs and stretching. Hope this finds everyone else doing well.
Monday, January 4, 2010
This Blog, 2009 & 2010
Well I haven't blogged in over a month and that's a long time for me. Probably the longest hiatus I have taken from blogging in a long time. Having a hard time staying motivated and wondering if this blog is worth my effort anymore. There used to be a huge community and that made it all worth while to me. I Guess I should still give it some thought since I have posted to Learning to Live for almost 3 years now. Even if I do decide this blog has run its course I would still like to stay in touch with a handful of friends/readers that have always been around to support me.
Lets see 2009 was a good year in life in general. I saw some ups and downs on the health front. I recorded my lowest weight of 194 back in June. Sadly if I look back on my blog to January 2009 I was weighing in at 204. Today I weighed in at 211 which is attributed to months of bad diet and slacking on the workout front. The last 2-3 months have pretty much sucked for me in regards to loosing weight. To me these stats are mentally draining and defeating.. Through allot of 2009 I gave up a ton of time (working out) and food to try and get to some magical number. Its so hard for me to not go extreme to one side or the other. I have been trying to get off this roller coaster for a long time but I must have a life long pass to ride. I just wish I could have ended 2009 on a good note weight wise. However I cannot complain to much as the rest of my life is good. I have a wonderful wife, boys, extended family, job, home, etc etc etc.... so I'm super thankful for that.
So onto 2010... I am not big into new years resolutions and believe anytime is a good time to set new goals. I guess the changing of a calendar year does make one reflect on the past year (why I am writing this I suppose). My wife and I have been talking about trying to get back to basics, back to what worked before. Time to really start meal planning again, eating out less, and communicating more about diet/fitness. She is the only consistent thing in my life that I believe really effects my health (that and of course #1 is myself). I need to try and surround myself with like minded people too. It seems hard in my life to do that as most people I know are either skinny (in shape) or fat and don't give a shit about diet and exercise. I have a few friends that can definitely be resources and I need to lean on them a little harder. I still think the beachbody programs (p90, p90x, insanity, Chalean extreme etc) are really good and fit my lifestyle well. So at this point my exercises regimes will use those programs with some running and boxing mixed in. I just started sparring with my neighbor across the street recently. I have never done any violent combat sports until now. I have found it to be a great exercise and fun given you have a good partner. We both agree to only go at about 60% and we have proper gear (headgear, gloves, mouth guards etc).
hope this finds all of you well and best of luck in the new year.
Lets see 2009 was a good year in life in general. I saw some ups and downs on the health front. I recorded my lowest weight of 194 back in June. Sadly if I look back on my blog to January 2009 I was weighing in at 204. Today I weighed in at 211 which is attributed to months of bad diet and slacking on the workout front. The last 2-3 months have pretty much sucked for me in regards to loosing weight. To me these stats are mentally draining and defeating.. Through allot of 2009 I gave up a ton of time (working out) and food to try and get to some magical number. Its so hard for me to not go extreme to one side or the other. I have been trying to get off this roller coaster for a long time but I must have a life long pass to ride. I just wish I could have ended 2009 on a good note weight wise. However I cannot complain to much as the rest of my life is good. I have a wonderful wife, boys, extended family, job, home, etc etc etc.... so I'm super thankful for that.
So onto 2010... I am not big into new years resolutions and believe anytime is a good time to set new goals. I guess the changing of a calendar year does make one reflect on the past year (why I am writing this I suppose). My wife and I have been talking about trying to get back to basics, back to what worked before. Time to really start meal planning again, eating out less, and communicating more about diet/fitness. She is the only consistent thing in my life that I believe really effects my health (that and of course #1 is myself). I need to try and surround myself with like minded people too. It seems hard in my life to do that as most people I know are either skinny (in shape) or fat and don't give a shit about diet and exercise. I have a few friends that can definitely be resources and I need to lean on them a little harder. I still think the beachbody programs (p90, p90x, insanity, Chalean extreme etc) are really good and fit my lifestyle well. So at this point my exercises regimes will use those programs with some running and boxing mixed in. I just started sparring with my neighbor across the street recently. I have never done any violent combat sports until now. I have found it to be a great exercise and fun given you have a good partner. We both agree to only go at about 60% and we have proper gear (headgear, gloves, mouth guards etc).
hope this finds all of you well and best of luck in the new year.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Comments On Comments
First off I would like to say thanks to all of you for leaving your thoughts whether they were positive, tuff love, or some where in between. I know all that have replied have invested some time into reading my blog and helping me along the way via your comments and writing of your own blogs so thanks for the continued support. I also wanted to say that allot of time when I blog I blog what I am thinking for the most part kind of uncensored, meaning I am trying to be as real as possible with no bs. With that said I would like to comment on a few of the comments.
Carrie
I get what your saying about the magic number and that maybe I shouldn't be so caught up on hitting 180. I also agree that I have been at this for way too long. Truthfully I don't see any other way at it and I know deep down I will most likely always have to battle my weight. I also know that quitting or giving up is not really the answer. As for the cruise pics I agree that I look pretty normal, however I chose those pics because they were some of the better ones we took. Just for reference, and I have mentioned this before but at 6 foot and 200 pounds I carry about 24-25% body fat and have the physic of a tube of toothpaste. You can look back at this entry to see what I look like less the shirt (at cruise weight). I would say that yes I am a hardloser (have a hard time loosing fat weight) but yet a hardgainer too (hard time putting on any muscle mass or weight). I do gain strength in workouts but never much size. So in a sense my body is out of equilibrium (fat vs muscle). I have gotten really skinny before but it was fat skinny. I wish I could afford a personal trainer that I thought was worth his/her fees. All the trainers at the big clubs around here are mostly wannabees with little to no more knowledge than I already have. The problem with most trainers is they put everyone on the same canned plan (calc by using age, height, weight and some calorie equation) cause it worked for them or someone else. Well as you know everyone is different and so are their bodies/genetics. I have spent a ton of time reading, training, and educating myself about exercise, diet and all other things health. I have tried allot of different approaches and many have worked kind of but none have gotten me the results I have wanted (which I don't think are too over the top). Lastly I do very much appreciate my life, body, health, family, wife, friends, job, freedom, and everything else good in my life. I do know I am a lucky man to have what I have. Yesterday I was in a funk and blogged about how I was feeling.
Tigerlilly
Not getting off the roller coaster just trying to regain my momentum. I know the only answer is staying healthy and being alive for those I love. I still have tons of stuff I want to do and accomplish in this life. I will try not to throw anymore Ripx180 blogspot pity parties. :)
Johndanger
Thanks for stepping out of the woods and giving me some thoughts. We have a ton of stuff in common and I would really like to follow your progress if you have a blog (I see you have your profile locked down). I too have a 4 year old and almost 2 year old son. Sounds like you have lost a crazy amount of weight fast (50 lbs in 3 months is insane). I have done a low carb, lean meat and veggies diet in the past that worked well weight loss wise but I struggled with it after doing for like 5-6 months. I got tired of eating the same stuff all the time so I wouldn't eat very much and I think thats why I lost weight so fast. I just don't think I could avoid all grains, pastas, beans, rice etc as a lifestyle. The stuff I do eat most of the time is whole wheat/ healthier choices.
Once again thanks for the comments.
Diet yesterday was just ok. I did PlyoX last night and have a 4 mile run planned for tonight.
Carrie
I get what your saying about the magic number and that maybe I shouldn't be so caught up on hitting 180. I also agree that I have been at this for way too long. Truthfully I don't see any other way at it and I know deep down I will most likely always have to battle my weight. I also know that quitting or giving up is not really the answer. As for the cruise pics I agree that I look pretty normal, however I chose those pics because they were some of the better ones we took. Just for reference, and I have mentioned this before but at 6 foot and 200 pounds I carry about 24-25% body fat and have the physic of a tube of toothpaste. You can look back at this entry to see what I look like less the shirt (at cruise weight). I would say that yes I am a hardloser (have a hard time loosing fat weight) but yet a hardgainer too (hard time putting on any muscle mass or weight). I do gain strength in workouts but never much size. So in a sense my body is out of equilibrium (fat vs muscle). I have gotten really skinny before but it was fat skinny. I wish I could afford a personal trainer that I thought was worth his/her fees. All the trainers at the big clubs around here are mostly wannabees with little to no more knowledge than I already have. The problem with most trainers is they put everyone on the same canned plan (calc by using age, height, weight and some calorie equation) cause it worked for them or someone else. Well as you know everyone is different and so are their bodies/genetics. I have spent a ton of time reading, training, and educating myself about exercise, diet and all other things health. I have tried allot of different approaches and many have worked kind of but none have gotten me the results I have wanted (which I don't think are too over the top). Lastly I do very much appreciate my life, body, health, family, wife, friends, job, freedom, and everything else good in my life. I do know I am a lucky man to have what I have. Yesterday I was in a funk and blogged about how I was feeling.
Tigerlilly
Not getting off the roller coaster just trying to regain my momentum. I know the only answer is staying healthy and being alive for those I love. I still have tons of stuff I want to do and accomplish in this life. I will try not to throw anymore Ripx180 blogspot pity parties. :)
Johndanger
Thanks for stepping out of the woods and giving me some thoughts. We have a ton of stuff in common and I would really like to follow your progress if you have a blog (I see you have your profile locked down). I too have a 4 year old and almost 2 year old son. Sounds like you have lost a crazy amount of weight fast (50 lbs in 3 months is insane). I have done a low carb, lean meat and veggies diet in the past that worked well weight loss wise but I struggled with it after doing for like 5-6 months. I got tired of eating the same stuff all the time so I wouldn't eat very much and I think thats why I lost weight so fast. I just don't think I could avoid all grains, pastas, beans, rice etc as a lifestyle. The stuff I do eat most of the time is whole wheat/ healthier choices.
Once again thanks for the comments.
Diet yesterday was just ok. I did PlyoX last night and have a 4 mile run planned for tonight.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Ripx180 Furniture = LazyBoy....
WI: 205
I am still struggling with the mental portion of the game. I need to come up with a revelation that will re-energize my motivation and dedication to a healthy lifestyle that sticks for the long run. Like most people my will to loose weight and stay healthy ebbs and tides like the ocean. My cycles seem to go in 50 pound increments over about a 3 year period. In the summer of 2004 I had worked my way down to 194. By summer of 2007 I had worked my way back up to 243 pounds before becoming disgusted with myself once again. By the summer of 2009 (this last summer) i had moved back down to 195. Today I sit at 205 watching myself slowly head back in a direction I don't want to go. A place I have been before but only this time older with a less resilient body. Why is mid 190s my magic number where I get hung up in my adult life weight wise? The summer before my senior year I got down to 168 and felt pretty good. I was a little to skinny I think or I guess lacked muscle but I guess I was really young then. Mentally I am trying to figure out what clicks in the 190s to where I throw in the towel and quit caring. Its not that I don't care cause I do and I don't want to have to go through the weight loss process again. It also bugs me that I never really hit my major goal of 180 pounds. I know that 180lbs isn't a magic number that is going to make things in my bodies world perfect but mentally its where I have always wanted to get. Truth is I know overweight people struggle with maintaining their weight. I totally believe that 97% of people never really maintain there weight loss and up to this point I fit the demographic. Loosing weight is something that I know I can do cause I have done it a handful of times before. But maintaining it and reaching a goal weight is something I haven't been able to do. Doubt has really sunk deep into my head. I have lots of thoughts blaming my genetics and upraising for my weight issues and body image. Matter of fact there have been many days in the last few months where I just don't care or my mind is absent of any self regulation in regards to food. I have thought "whatever, it doesn't matter I am already fat and this one meal isn't gonna make it any worse" way to many times recently. The thing that drives me crazy is I feel like if I eat 1500 cals a day I maintain or barely loose and in return I can eat closer to 3k a day and maintain or barely gain.
I think part of my problem is my support group is running thin. Most of the people I hang out with (friends and family) are genetically skinny and don't have to worry about what they eat/drink. The ones that are over weight don't seem to care or weight loss/healthy lifestyles is not important to them. You know what they say about "when in Rome" = eating sh!t and drinking. Truthfully, the online community isn't really there anymore either (I am sure you are thinking "why is he writing this then?"). My answer is "I don't know" and most likely because blogging has helped me in the past (I do miss the FAT Coalition). I do have to say thanks to my one loyal reader David who has seemed to always have my back. If anyone reading this knows of any other on-line blog groups that are more involved give me a shout out. Even my wife is less involved with helping me out. Our house has more junk food in it, shes not working out much, and our cooking has been less healthy including much more eating out. She used to actually read my blog and be involved with my well being. I know she is still behind me and there for me but its not at the forefront of her mind. I guess we all have a thousand other things to worry about (finance, kids, jobs, relationships, houses, image, personal hobbies etc).
I know, I am being a debbie downer so I will quit. I also realize all the above is bunch of lame excuses and I only have myself to blame. I just need to get a grip.
I guess one semi good thing is I am still working out 3-4 times a week which is better than the average American.
Sorry for the really long winded ramble... back to the drawing board.
I am still struggling with the mental portion of the game. I need to come up with a revelation that will re-energize my motivation and dedication to a healthy lifestyle that sticks for the long run. Like most people my will to loose weight and stay healthy ebbs and tides like the ocean. My cycles seem to go in 50 pound increments over about a 3 year period. In the summer of 2004 I had worked my way down to 194. By summer of 2007 I had worked my way back up to 243 pounds before becoming disgusted with myself once again. By the summer of 2009 (this last summer) i had moved back down to 195. Today I sit at 205 watching myself slowly head back in a direction I don't want to go. A place I have been before but only this time older with a less resilient body. Why is mid 190s my magic number where I get hung up in my adult life weight wise? The summer before my senior year I got down to 168 and felt pretty good. I was a little to skinny I think or I guess lacked muscle but I guess I was really young then. Mentally I am trying to figure out what clicks in the 190s to where I throw in the towel and quit caring. Its not that I don't care cause I do and I don't want to have to go through the weight loss process again. It also bugs me that I never really hit my major goal of 180 pounds. I know that 180lbs isn't a magic number that is going to make things in my bodies world perfect but mentally its where I have always wanted to get. Truth is I know overweight people struggle with maintaining their weight. I totally believe that 97% of people never really maintain there weight loss and up to this point I fit the demographic. Loosing weight is something that I know I can do cause I have done it a handful of times before. But maintaining it and reaching a goal weight is something I haven't been able to do. Doubt has really sunk deep into my head. I have lots of thoughts blaming my genetics and upraising for my weight issues and body image. Matter of fact there have been many days in the last few months where I just don't care or my mind is absent of any self regulation in regards to food. I have thought "whatever, it doesn't matter I am already fat and this one meal isn't gonna make it any worse" way to many times recently. The thing that drives me crazy is I feel like if I eat 1500 cals a day I maintain or barely loose and in return I can eat closer to 3k a day and maintain or barely gain.
I think part of my problem is my support group is running thin. Most of the people I hang out with (friends and family) are genetically skinny and don't have to worry about what they eat/drink. The ones that are over weight don't seem to care or weight loss/healthy lifestyles is not important to them. You know what they say about "when in Rome" = eating sh!t and drinking. Truthfully, the online community isn't really there anymore either (I am sure you are thinking "why is he writing this then?"). My answer is "I don't know" and most likely because blogging has helped me in the past (I do miss the FAT Coalition). I do have to say thanks to my one loyal reader David who has seemed to always have my back. If anyone reading this knows of any other on-line blog groups that are more involved give me a shout out. Even my wife is less involved with helping me out. Our house has more junk food in it, shes not working out much, and our cooking has been less healthy including much more eating out. She used to actually read my blog and be involved with my well being. I know she is still behind me and there for me but its not at the forefront of her mind. I guess we all have a thousand other things to worry about (finance, kids, jobs, relationships, houses, image, personal hobbies etc).
I know, I am being a debbie downer so I will quit. I also realize all the above is bunch of lame excuses and I only have myself to blame. I just need to get a grip.
I guess one semi good thing is I am still working out 3-4 times a week which is better than the average American.
Sorry for the really long winded ramble... back to the drawing board.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)