I'm A F-N Cornholio!

I think its time for the Rip-Myster to turn the page on my diet and expectations. I think the number one thing that is wrong with my weight loss is eating of carbs. This time around I am having a really hard time giving them up even though I know it really works with my body (low carbs and weight loss). I know from a been there done that standpoint that I cant do fatkins aka atkins where you can eat a pound of bacon and wash it down with mayo. My wife and I have pretty much converted to everything being whole wheat (breads, pastas, pitas, english muffins, wraps, etc) and we only eat brown rice. I have completely given up my juice consumption and full cal soda (I still have diet). The only other thing that is really killing me is the cheat meals here and there when we go out. I have tried to limit that and order better when we do go out but I do believe thats my achilies heel. The question that it brings up for me is "Is the really low carb diet a lifestyle I can live with?". Or is it just a means to get where I want to get? How do you maintain eating a realistic diet once you reach your goals? I can understand sacrificing to achieve harmony/equilibrium with your body for a period of time. I am not saying I ever want to go back to eating fast food or highly processed foods on a regular basis. I would consider my diet right now to be pretty healthy (minus the cheat meals). My diet is what I would consider liveable but still stricter than 90% of what americans eat. When I reach my goals I dont ever want to go through the process of doing it again. I have wasted years of my life being fat and trying to get skinney with success, only to have to start and do it again because my fat ass decided to quit exercising or start eating shit. I wrote the text in my header to remind myself not to waste time and energy thinking about the past and how I have f-up health wise, but here I am again f-ing wasting time. I'm f-n frustrated can you tell? I put so much time and energy into this yet I turn around and shoot myself in the foot by putting some shity ass food in my mouth. I'm not "Earning" shit and I'm F-n "half assed". Somethings got to give..... I need to turn over a new leaf and get down to business. I know what to do I'm just not doing it.... BLAAAAAHHHHHH

Sorry for the negative vibes but thats the crap running around in brain. Rob said to listen to what's being said inside your head if you want the truth. There you have it....

Dizzy...

Not a huge amount of stuff to blog about today but thought i would post a quick note. Had a good run last night on the treadmill. However I am still battleing the dizzies from time to time. I have actually got a doctors appt today to see the Doc. The advise nurse thought that I may need to have my meds adjusted (I am currently taking high BP medicine). She asked if I have been taking my BP and I have been. I keep a log of it and it has been normal. I have noticed that my resting heart rate has really dropped allot over the last month. Generally its in the 50s to low 60s these days. It used to be in the 70s most of the time. I figured since my dizzy spells have not cleared up in the last few weeks its time to get check out. My diet is still the thing that is holding me back and I know it. I know what to do and what to eat/not to eat. I just need to do it and put my foot down in group situations.

Note: Dr really doesn't know what it is. He said that the way I describe it its not related to the meds I am taking. He gave me some prescription Dramamine stuff (pretty much) thats supposed to heal the inner ear. If that doesn't work then I may have to go to a specialist. Sucks and kind of freaks me out, I am only 32 years old so I shouldn't be having anything to crazy going on. He didn't say anything about me not working out so I'm gonna keep on keeping on.

Salt and Get Togethers = Weight Gain

This weekend was a crash course in how not to eat if you are trying to loose wieght. I dont think I was over my daily calories too often (maybe one day this weekend). But the food I did eat was loaded with salt, fat, and carbs. All the shit that says check your fitness at the door. I really started thinking about the salt portion as I felt slightly swollen and bloated all weekend. It was a really fun weekend in the fact we had allot going on and saw a bunch of people etc. But with social situation comes bad food and decisions for us health concious whom are far and few between. I know my body is sensitive to carbs and I wonder if it is pretty sensitive to salt too. I think I may really try to cut back on my salt intake for a while and see what happens. I am not the type of guy that puts extra salt on anything but it seems like so much stuff is preloaded with salt. I ate a couple pickle spears with breakfast and thought "hey they only have 10 cals each" but then looked at the salt and they had 220mg each. So 2 pickles and a cliff builder bar puts me at 700mg of salt by 7:46am this morning. Not good.... Top that with the fact that todays my fathers 60th b-day and I am getting off early to go to his bash. You know what that means. My sister is one of the best bakers that I know and is preparring 5 different deserts. They are having a BBQ (I am taking some chicken lime burgers for Andi, Ry, and I) and we are supplying a big fruit dish as our side dish contribution. I feel like I should do pretty good tonight as I am feeling motivated but it could prove to be difficult. I know I have a few bad eating pounds to drop off to break even on weds weigh in so I have to be careful (228 this morning +3lbs). On top of that tommorrow is my wife and my 8 year anniversary. That usually means going out to eat or getting take out. This is how cool my wife is.... We were talking about what we wanted to do for our anniversary and we both aggreed that we didnt want to do any big gifts or stuff like that this year. We are both kind of in saving mode for a new house in the near future as our family grows. We talked about getting some take out and she says "Isnt that the night before your weigh in for tucks challenge???". So even my wonderful wife is watching out for me, Im a lucky guy. She has been really supportive lately and has helped keep me stay on track at times I may have not. Twice last week she said "Are you sure you want to do that, will you be mad at yourself tommorow morning?". OK, my post is getting really long and starting to wander and I am sure I have lost some readers due to my long winded ramblings.

On a work out front I lifted pretty hard last night. To failure on several different lifts and I am not feeling sore today. I like being a little sore to remind me that I did it and that I need to do it again, so not feeling sore is bumming me out a little. I know there is a possibility that I will be really sore tomorrow. Note to self, I need to do more bike rides like I did on Friday, my legs feel really strong after that.

Shack Attack

So I was on a pretty good roll yesterday with diet and exercise. I road about 20 miles on my bike with my son on the back for 10 of them. He really enjoyed the time on the bike. It was really cute at one point when he started singing zipidy doo daa. Helped take my mind off the fact that I was exhausted and trying to push up this hill. I actually thought about that post Bryan wrote about his buddy who cant do hills. Needless to say at no point did I ever get off and walk. I was in gear 1-2 a couple times that probably goes slower than walking but I rode it. My legs and behind are really sore today as I am not used to that amount of time in the seat.

Earlier in the week we had asked my parents if they would watch Ryan our son so we could do a dinner and movie with my sister and her fiancée. They said yes and we were looking forward to a night on the town with out kido (doesn't happen very often). We went and saw the new Bourne Ultimatum movie. I really enjoyed the movie, if you liked the other ones this ones worth seeing. After we saw the movie we went to dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. Joe's is a pretty new restaurant here in Vancouver. Anyway I guess moral to the story is its nearly impossible to eat healthy at the shack. I did take part in some crab dip and popcorn shrimp appetizers. For my main dish I stuck with a non breaded chicken that was toped with grilled prawns and crab meat. It was pretty good and I managed to save half for later. They had 3 dollar margaritas so I had 1 and 1/2 of those. I guess I am trying to spill the beans cause I feel guilty. My eating the last few days hasn't been the greatest. It was a nice night out and I am getting ready for a healthy breakfast right after I finish typing this. I don't feel like I have gotten off the train just made a stop in bad food town. I'm back on board and rolling in the right direction.

Hope you are all having fun healthy weekends.

Week 11 Frustration

Starting Weight: 240
Todays Weigh in : 226

5 day Average : nuked from the weekend gone

Weight Lost this week: .5
Total Weight lost : 14

Last night was Ripx VS Burpees/Hindues/pushups. I faired much better this time around than the first time I battled this threesome. My burpee form was much better and the movements seemed smoother and more precise. I still notice my gut getting in the way when I do the jump up from pushup position. My knees somewhat smash into it or twang out to the sides like a fat frog leaping across lily pads (ok maybe stumps since I would annihilate a poor lily pad). After my 3 sets I immediately jumped on the treadmill for a 30 min round of HIIT. I was pretty bushed after that. I ate some spicy chicken for dinner last night and it really didn't like HIIT (note to self don't eat spicy chicken on hard cardio nights)

I have been watching my second goal weight date approach slowly but surely in a much faster fashion than I am currently loosing weight. It kind of depresses me and I know that there is no way I am going to be able to hit that goal realistically. I am going to leave it there as a reminder that slaps me in the face every time I log to the blog. I also am keenly aware that this will skew my other goals and possibly push them out also. Does this make me a failure?? Sure a little... so maybe I have lost the battle but no way am I going to loose the war. I do feel slightly discouraged about the whole goal thing but I realize that what i am doing is positively affecting me and the people around me. I feel much better physically and mentally, allot of the aches and pains of being fat and out of shape are diminishing. I have a long way to go, but I am looking forward to earning every drop of sweat and pound lost.

Thanks again all F.A.T members for having my back and for mentally pushing me up the hills when needed. I know so far I am not a star performer but I am getting there and I owe you all thanks for that. This group helps keep "why" at the front of my mind.

Rained Out....

This last weekend was a annual trip that we take with friends each year to do fishing/water sports. Generally the weather in August is really good even here in Washington. We left with the local weather mans words in our minds "chance of scattered showers". Saturday 5pm came and it was constant showers and down pour. We had one 10x10 tarp that 8 of us were all huddled under and a bunch of tents for sleeping. Tons of rain and being trapped in a 10x10 area with 2 two year old kidos gets old really quick. So it was a group decision to pack up and head home. About a third of the way into our tear down the other couples decide they are going to stick it out because one couple decided they didn't want to pack up that night. Anyway we stayed committed to leaving but felt like A holes for ditching early. We did skip on the group meal plan and brought our own stuff so I was able to stay on my healthier diet. Took a little crap here and there for that but most were supportive of our choices. Although they kept calling it a diet which kind of hit a nerve a few times. I cant think of it like that or it will never work for me, diets just don't work. I did have some light beers and a little bit of rum with diet soda. So I was over my calories for the day which in the end will probably nip me in the butt some. We did play whiffle ball and Frisbee which was fun and active. My whole side of my body is sore from being the pitcher for several at bats. By the end of the ball game I could throw a pretty mean curve and slider though. :). For the time we had there I had a great time, just wish it wasn't cut early by the weather but hey I told them I was a fair weather camper ahead of time.

Tonight I am planning another round against the burpees and a few other exercises Billy recommended. Then a run on the treadmill. Diet will be good as it always is on the weekdays. I weighed in at 227 this morning and my 5 day is shot cause I am not taking a scale with me on vacation or people would really think I am a nut job.

Time to put in some more effort cause "you get what you earn".... man thats been rolling around in my head allot these days.

Trying to "Earn" It.

Today's Weight: 225.5 (new low)

5 Day Average: 227.3

Calories Yesterday: 2050

Today I had a hard time walking down the stairs in my parking garage at work. Normally I would be depressed about something like that but I wasn't today. I thought about the fact that I "earned" the sore legs today. If you haven't had a chance to read Billy's latest post do so. It will make you think, then get pissed, think Bill's arrogant, re-think again, realize you could be doing more, come to the conclusion that Billy's trying to make a point and that hes not arrogant, but more or less trying to help us all out (with tuff luv maybe). Billy I commend you on your post and dedication to changing your lifestyle and physic and for sharing it with all of us. Isn't this the reason we all wanted to be involved with FAT in the first place? To live and learn from other people that are walking a similar path to health. My theory on life and people is (may sound selfish) if I cant take or learn something positive or look at them as some what of a role model then I don't need to waste my time. Every person I become friends with or spend the time getting to know has qualities that I want to emulate or has something positive to give. In return I hope people who have befriended me or get to know me expect and take the same in some way. With that being said there are a ton of people on the FAT coalition that I can take from and look up to, I feel lucky to be involved in what seems to be a bigger picture to me.

Last nights workout was something new for me. I had read Billy's proscribed plan for Kevin and figured what the hay I will give it a try. So I picked my three moves (burpees, hindu squats, and Bird Dogs). After a 15-20 min internet search and figuring out the movements and form (which is hard for me since I have nooooo rhythm) I set in for my 3 sets. Let me say this was the hardest workout I have done since starting my journey. The Burpees (which I never heard of) where moves that I vaguely remembered from middle school I think. When seeing someone do them you think that looks easy. I know this sounds totally wuss but I was only able to do 10 reps in each set of these. I was so glad that I was doing them in the comfort of my own home as I would have been embarrassed to do them at the gym. I felt like a 600 pound man trying to push himself up off the floor. My form quickly went to shit on these cause I was so exhausted. The hindu squats where much more doable but I think that is what actually killed my legs, same on the bird dogs. After my 3 sets I almost puked (closest I have come in a long time). At that point I was shot, so i decided to jump on the bike for 20 min. After my brief ride I was soooo done. I could barely muster enough energy to shower and walk to bed. So new goal for me is to master the burpee so I can do many more reps with good form and not feel and look as fat and out of shape as I did. Plus you can add a pushup and jump into the burpee movement which I was in no way ready to do.

breakfast, snacks, and lunch are all planned and packed. Keep on moving FAT.