Disclaimer this is not a pity post so don't give me any. Just a fat guys thoughts and rambling....
To wing or not to wing.... I am choosing not to wing it anymore. I posted this on Robs blog on Friday morning "I am going to make a plan for the weekend. Whats yours? what are you eating, when are you working out?". I got as far as making a plan for Friday did I consider the next two days in the weekend? Or did I wing it? I winged it and you know what that means. I didn't do horribly but I could have done soooo much better. I had a few drinks while watching the Seahawks destroy the 49ers. Well truthfully I think the 49ers destroyed themselves, they played horrible. I actually felt bad for them even though it was a W for the hawks. There was also snacks that I took part in. It was at our house so the snacks were healthier than most football parties. We had baked chicken wings, hummus, veggies and whole wheat wheat thins. A black bean with cheese and salsa dip etc. I digress.....back to the main meaning of the post. I need to make sure I have a plan and I also need to make sure I execute those plans. That's the main issues with my weekends, I have no plan. I don't eat for too long then I get really hungry and make really bad decisions. I don't know if I don't want this bad enough or what. I can give great advice and cheer you all on but when it comes down to me following my own advice I feel like I am failing miserably. I feel like the fat personal trainer who can talk the talk but not walk the walk. Or the fat doctor that says you need to loose some weight. I want to be the guy that people listen to because I have done it (like most of you). Not the guy that people say in the back of their heads "Dude, follow your own advice you fat a$$". I am so living proof that following a diet and exercise plan 85% of the time doesn't work very well. Last week I felt so strong and motivated and I f'd it all up in a weekend. I don't know what I need maybe some tuff luv. Finally yes I know, step up or shut up right? Being fat is the one thing in my life that sucks and I am having a hard time making it right. 
11 comments:
If you do a quick survey of the diet plans out there a good deal of them tell you to cheat at least some of the time. I'm starting to think that it's not realistic to be 100% all the time after so many years of eating whatever you want.
The program I currently like is John Berardi's...he basically has a bunch of rules about eating, and one of the rules is "break the rules 10% of the time". In his studies, he has found that as long as you're following the program with a 90% compliance, the last 10% doesn't make a difference, and cheating actually helps people stick to it with the other 90%.
In his plan, you're eating 5-6 meals per day, which means that you can have 3-4 "non compliant meals" per week. That's almost a full day of meals, which could be Sunday, if you are strict the rest of the time (he also considers skipping a meal a non-compliance).
So, the bottom line is, I think you're right, you do need a plan that you can stick to. You should also plan to cheat at least once per week to keep your sanity. Don't go eating a whole pizza or anything, but a day like you had on Sunday isn't so bad if you were golden the rest of the week.
Well last night I read an article that basically said without commitment you have nothing. How bout I just let the article speak for itself:
The first line says this..."How many times have you said you want something, really want something, and yet you never make it happen...How many things have you wanted but you never make them happen?"
It went on to say, " The biggest thing that likely stands in your way is a lack of commitment. A lack of full, non-negotiable, 100% commitment."
I think something powerful is said right there: "...non-negotiable 100% commitment" Let that sink in.
A place to start
a few questions to gauge where they are:
1. How long have you wanted this in your life?
2. How long are you willing to wait?
3. Now, ask yourself: “Out of 100%, how committed am I to doing this?”
"If your answer is anything less than 100%, stop now. Know that it will never happen. Unless you are 100% committed to making something happen IT WILL NOT HAPPEN! Sorry to tell you, but its true.
So now you have a choice – either get 100% committed or let it go. It does not serve us to hang on to things that we never intend to actually do. It only drains our energy. If you know that you will never do this, do yourself a favor and let it go. Release it and all the energy contained within it.
If you are unwilling to let it go, then you know you need to get 100% committed."
So how do you do that?
"One strategy that works is to create such a "compelling vision" of what you want that it gets you committed and into action. What does your dream or goal look like? Really explore it in all its detail. Perhaps you can even create a “dream board” with pictures and ideas of what you want. Other questions to consider are: What will be the impact of doing it? How will your life change? How good will your life be when you achieve this goal?"
Another strategy..." It is said that we will do more to avoid pain then we will to move toward pleasure. If the compelling vision is not enough to get you committed and into action, find something incredibly painful to “punish” yourself with for not doing it.
Let me give you an example from Anthony Robbins book “Awaken the Giant Within”. He cites an example of two friends who for years could not lose the weight they wanted. They had tried everything and always failed. Finally, they made a deal with each other that if they didn’t reach their target weights by a certain date that they would eat a can of Alpo dog food. UG! Can you imagine? They told all their friends and family about the deal and they carried around their can of Alpo dog food wherever they went, and whenever they thought about cheating or missing a workout, they took one look at the can and got back on track. And they finally reached their goal!
The key was they associated a significant enough amount of pain with failing that they stuck to their commitments. And it worked. Now its your turn to try this exercise – what would be so “painful” if you don’t do what you want that it compels you to get into action and stay committed?"
Sorry for the long blog but I hope its inspired and helped...
I don't know what to tell you man. What the hell do you need to hear? You want to spend another year of your life fat? This is the only life you get, goddammit. If you want something, just go out there and goddamn get it.
Look at yourself in the mirror. You can do this.
Now QUIT F-ING AROUND!
I think we all go through struggles like this from time to time. As easy as it sounds to just say "Man up and do it" sometimes it takes more drive than it should.
Just stand up, decide who you want to be, and go create that person.
You asked for tough love, so here it comes. (Know that I say this with genuine affection for you.)
2 Lbs in Spetember? 2 f'ing pounds? WTF? Get with it, fat boy. You have a kid and another one in its larval stage. You have a million reasons to get is shape. You have a responsibility to your family to stick around for another forty plus years.
What's holding you back? Are you lazy? Gluttonous? Stupid? You know how to lose weight, so go out there and do it. I'm working my butt off over here. I expect the same from you. I'm seeing great results. I WANT the same for YOU.
Set goals for yourself. Concrete goals. Like I'm sticking between 1800 and 2200 calories a day. Like I'm going to get faster than Swanky cause she'd kick my ass in a 5k, and she's just some fat short girl with an attitude. Then set to work achieving those goals. That's all any of us who are seeing positive results are doing, setting goals, working on them, getting them done. What are you doing? You've got goals on the right side of your page, and they are just gathering dust. Brush them off, refocus, and get to work.
+1 to what everone said. Come on man, we were almost the same weight when i signed in here and now i'm almost 15 lbs. away !
Taking control of your weekend is one of your goals. Take the appropriate actions and measures to reach that goal !
You have got to face that beer and ask, will it bring me eternal happiness, or will not drinking it make me closer to my goal !
Get Some RipX !
Sometimes you just have to realize how close you are to actually doing it right. I fall into this same trap, man.
Look back at this week, for example. Look at all the GOOD decisions. Look at your working out, your healthy choices and everything you've done right.
And then look at the bad. It's such a small number compared to your good. Isolate your problem, which is sounds like you're doing.
Is it because you starved yourself all day and then you binge later? If so, you know the answer. PLAN it out, write it down, and follow it.
Hell, this is something I need to start doing. Why don't you plan your entire meal out, EVERY DAY, and then blog about it in the morning. Put up your menu for the day on this blog - feel accountable to us.
And then, at the end of the day, tell us how you did.
It's amazing how a little accountability can drive you. We can fool ourselves - we can't fool others.
To comment on what Jay said here, I found that doing the 10% rule breaking caused me to not lose any weight for 3 weeks! You have to be really careful about what you do that 10% of the time, don't go nuts. Also, beware that Berardi's program has a shitload of calories, be careful.
RipX, by the way, I made your stone soup and it was delicious, any other recipes you have, feel free to post!
BrotherJay
For me, eating 100% clean 100% of the time is dangerous. I think that played a major role in my binging the other night. Don't deprive yourself of things you love, just eat (or drink) it in moderation. Keep track of what you're eating and how much.
And your weekend planning...plan...sounds like a great...plan. I usually slip up by winging it, too, so planning ahead seems to be the logical solution here. :)
Set small goals. Make a goal for this week and stick to it. When it's a small goal within reach, it doesn't seem so out of reach.
Sorry...I have a different take on this. If you're losing 2 - 3 lbs per month doing this your way, then you will be 24 - 36 lbs thinner a year from now. That's not so awful.
If you want more than that, then I guess you already know what to do.
Something that might also help you on the weekends is to remember some of these deprivations dont have to last always.
Would not drinking for a few months kill you if it meant the difference of 10 lbs coming off your body?
When you get where you want to be then you can add them back into your diet in moderation.
WE have to think beyond instant gratification sometimes. Sacrifice now or pay later.
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